Today was a day I never expected. Very early on in Lakendrick’s case his mom asked if I wanted to adopt someday. I told her “yes,” but I knew it wasn’t going to be him. Because I really didn’t believe it would be. Continue reading →
Why I believe in adoption
Although my early years were not like the ordinary or “normal” childhoods that our society is used to hearing about, I thoroughly enjoyed mine. Continue reading →
Co-parenting with birth parents
Becoming a foster parent comes with many responsibilities. There are the obvious, of course — doctor appointments to get to, therapists to see, meetings with the caseworker, and the biggest of all…parenting a child. Continue reading →
Tag…We’re it!
“Not it!”
I have heard this expression shouted several times this summer from my kids as they were playing tag in the yard or shirking responsibility for a household chore or a recently noticed mess. These words are usually easier to say than “It!” Continue reading →
Dancing with Cinderella: A foster dad and his daughters
In a previous life I was a wedding reception DJ, so I know the power of a song played at just the right moment — like “The Twist” followed by “Play That Funky Music,” just when grandma decides to come out onto the dance floor. There really isn’t anything like it. Continue reading →
The life of a social worker: Understanding, sacrifice and love
When I began my career as a social worker, fresh out of graduate school, and someone had asked me why I chose my career, I would have answered like this: “I chose social work because my passion is to help others, volunteer, and work with children. Continue reading →
Mommy, I’m different: What I learned from my son
“Mommy, I can’t find a skin-color crayon.”
When my 4-year-old son, Robert, spoke these words a couple months ago, my heart froze in place for a moment. Continue reading →
Using pain to change hearts
As foster and adoptive parents, we are no strangers to pain — our own and that of our children. We live and breathe it far more often than we would like. We recognize that our children’s pain is their trauma and is part of their story, and that it is often part of the healing process. We understand that pain is part of walking this journey Continue reading →
Giving up perfect
When we became foster parents, one of the most daunting parts was the feeling I needed to be perfect. No one ever imposed this on me – it was my own, unrealistic idea. When I think back to our first years of home visits, I can’t help but laugh. Continue reading →
Saying goodbye to foster children with gratitude instead of grief
It has been eight weeks since our most recent placement left our home and went to live with his dad. Some days it feels like just yesterday, other days it feels like forever ago. The clothes have been washed, put away or returned to friends, the bed has Continue reading →