You see, as an adoptive mama, one of the comments that really gets under my skin is “Your daughter is one lucky girl” My daughter experienced things no child should ever have to, and then on top of all that she lost her primary attachment figure when she was removed from her birth mom. It doesn’t matter how ugly of a living environment that was, being removed from it meant losing everything she knew. However, that great loss is also what provided the opportunity for great healing.
My sweet, sassy, incredibly smart and full-of-potential daughter has had to overcome a lot in her life. She was deeply wounded by those who were meant to keep her safe. What I have come to understand in the beauty amid the brokenness is that she was hurt in relationship and she will also experience healing in relationship. That’s when I realize how lucky and how blessed I am. I get to be the one that fosters that healing!
“Foster” is defined as a verb meaning “to encourage or promote the development of something, typically something regarded as good.” As an adoptive parent, my role in fostering my daughter is not done, but has developed into so much more. I am no longer just a temporary safe place; I am the place that will bring permanent love, support and healing to my girl.
This is certainly not an easy task. In fact, the journey to healing for our girl has been one of the most difficult and longest challenges we have gone through as a family. If I could undo the pain our girl has experienced, I would in a second.
She is by no means lucky to have experienced this pain and loss, even though it has brought her to the wonderful gift of a second chance at a family through adoption. Still, what I can say for certain is I am the lucky one to have been given the gift to provide the relationship in which my daughter’s healing can take place.