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Adoption, foster care, Children's WI, questions

Be prepared for these common questions when you become a foster parent


Did Katy Perry have foster children? In just a few short lines she sums up many of my days.

You’re hot then you’re cold.
You’re yes then you’re no.
You’re up then you’re down.
You’re in then you’re out.

Actually, that can sum up any spouse or parent’s day.

So did we know the valleys were this deep or the mountains this steep when we decided to foster? No! Did we know the joys would be indescribable or that my faith would grow in ways unimaginable? No!

Isn’t that the beauty of life? None of us have a crystal ball that tells us how everything will turn out. Yet, that doesn’t stop us from putting ourselves out there.

Whenever someone finds out that I am a foster parent a series of common questions and statements usually follow. “What if the child is … ? What if the child does … ? What about your other children? I could never give a child back.”

Somehow when I mentioned I was a foster parent they assumed I said, “It’s easy,” “It’s simple” or “It’s perfect!” It’s not! Not much in life is. Actually it is easy to never challenge yourself and it is simple to not get involved in anything. It may seem perfectly alright to never expand your horizons.

Almost every person who throws out the litany of “what ifs” is a married person or a parent. “Why did you get married? Why did you have children? Was there some guarantee with either of those that cancelled out all the unknowns?” Of course not, but you still went ahead and did the best you could. Becoming a foster parent is no different.

There is a Chinese saying that says, “The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is NOW!”

If you think you could love a child, if you think you could teach someone how to trust or attach, then the best time to do so is NOW!

My family and I will continue to choose this for ourselves and do our very best with all the “what ifs.” We will continue to love and cherish these children for as long as we will have them. We will also let God take care of the rest!

So, what if you become a hero in the life of a child? What if you become a foster parent?