Our house: A foster-to-adopt home

Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young were close…

Our house is a very, very, very fine house
With two cats in the yard
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy ‘cause of you!

 Well, we have DuKatz in the yard, but everything is not so hard or easy! In our family, the DuKatz house has: 

• A scooter charging in the kitchen.
• A changing table in the dining room.
• A crib and pack & play in the master bedroom.
• Enough strollers and wagons for “Octo-Mom”!

Most people in their 40s and 50s (excluding Hollywood stars on their second, third or fourth marriage) are not carrying around an infant on their hip. They are mixing drinks — not formula — and are changing hairstyles — not diapers. We’re not most people. To quote our 15-year-old son, Sam, “My friend’s parents are going out when you and dad are going to bed!”

Becoming a foster-to-adopt home

Most people are not using the amazing gifts God has given them. If you feel called or compelled to do something (despite not knowing exactly how to), I encourage you to take that leap of faith.

Five years ago, my lovely little family of four did just that. We became a foster-to-adopt home. It hasn’t been easy but the greatest things you do in life rarely are. We did not possess any special powers to undertake this task. In fact, we felt stretched by many things that seemed too great for us. Yet, it was through the greatness of those tasks that each of us grew.

As a mother and wife, I can’t find the right words to convey the fullness I feel in my heart when I see:

• My teenage son rocking a baby to sleep.
• My daughter knowing exactly how to make a toddler smile.
• My husband calmly and empathetically handling the day with an 11-month-old, 18 month old and 3 ½-year-old. The fact that he still has love in the tank, when his wife comes home from a long day in the classroom, is a miracle in and of itself!

As with anything in life, along with those amazing moments there have been valleys that we have struggled to get out of. We have to accept that we are not called to an easy life, but a purposeful life! Every giant-size weight drops into our laps right on schedule. Many of our purposes will not be fulfilled easily. So just like David, we need to find a few good stones. I am so very grateful for these three stones:

1. Family: My parents have picked us up countless times. They have been loving grandparents to each child in our home. They have not judged nor questioned us, but have loved and supported us through each and every mountain and valley.
2. Friends: Just like Moses, have your friends hold up your arms for you! Don’t stop five minutes short of the miracle. I am so very blessed to have wonderful women in my life to lean on and learn from.
3. Support Group: We’ve been incredibly fortunate, through Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin, to find new friends who have fought, and are fighting, similar giants. With these new friends I never have to explain myself. They know. They’ve been there and done that. They give me the knowledge and encouragement I need to go another day

So, our house with its unique interior design and its mountains and valleys, will continue its commitment to loving all of God’s children!

After all, the history of the world simply is a chronicle of the deeds of a small number of ordinary people who had extraordinary levels of commitment!

Betsy DuKatz Foster and Adoptive Parent Children's Wisconsin

Children’s Wisconsin plays a big part in finding foster homes and adoptive families for kids in Wisconsin. At any given time, 7,000 children are in foster care in Wisconsin. We offer a team approach, working together to support the best interest of children and their families.